Gosh Dang, Yichang!: Silly Skiing at Shennongjia

One of my senior girls has a totally kickass mom who is part of an outdoors sporting club here in Yichang, and it killed me every time I had to turn down an offer to join them because I was too busy. So, with Spring Festival vacation over and school back in full swing, Linds and I were thrilled when we were invited to join them for a ski trip to Shennongjia. Shennongjia is a natural area roughly 150 miles northwest of Yichang with a wintertime ski resort that claims to be the largest ski area in South China. In the tourism brochure, it is described as a “fun and not dangerous place to ski,” so of course Lindsey and I were like sure, what the heck?

Not knowing what to expect from a ski trip in subtropical Southern China we took a breath and boarded a greyhound packed with a bunch of other Chinese outdoor sports enthusiasts and nestled into our “VIP” spots my student’s mother reserved for us at the very front of the bus. They told us the ride would be about 5 hours, so we we were happy to have a great view out the giant front window and plenty of leg space. During the ride, our club leader dude kept the bus entertained with what I was guessing to be stories, informational tidbits about Shennongjia, and spontaneous interviews of various passengers on the bus. Multiple times we heard the phrase “Meiguo ren pengyo,” which would more often than not be followed by chuckles and chatter. Yes, they were talking—and laughing-- about us.. Meiguo ren pengyo means “American friends.” But 6 months into living in China and this kind of experience wasn’t anything new. And the laughter wasn’t malicious by any stretch. Our ski trip group was actually an incredibly welcoming and humorous bunch, and even had a few English speakers among its ranks. Below you can see Lindsey with two English teachers who were on the trip.

The bus ride ended up being 2 hours longer than originally estimated. The road was narrow, winding, and bumpy as hell. When we finally arrived at a small mountain town about an hour away from the ski resort we got a hotpot dinner at a local restaurant then stayed the night at a decent hotel.

In the morning we got up at 6am, prepared our own breakfasts in our rooms, piled into the bus, and drove an hour to Shennongjia Ski Field. Yes.. you read the right. Field. When we got there we couldn’t believe what we were seeing. “South China’s largest ski resort” was a slightly slanted snow field divided into two runs and two stand and pull lifts. The lifts were poma/t-bar style, which involve standing and placing a bar with a plastic disc at the bottom between your legs and being pulled up the hill. There were other runs, but only these two were open for the weekend and actually had snow on them. Also, we were told by our tour guide upon check-in that we need to hide our faces cause we were sneaking in...

I would say there were about 300 people at the ski resort and I’m not exaggerating when I say that, apart from the employees, Lindsey and I may have been the only two people there who actually knew how to ski. Most of the people at the resort were gathered around the bottom of the hill and were either scooting around and getting a feel for their skis or taking selfies. The scene was surreal, like hundreds of baby fauns walking around on ice. In the background, the loudspeakers would periodically blast Ravel’s Bolero, adding even more comedy to what we were witnessing around us. I have to hand it to these people though, it takes guts to learn how to ski, and even more guts to take one of these crazy lifts up a hill and push yourself off down the hill having no idea what you're doing. I learned how to ski when I was small child and I had the help of a ski instructor at one point, and then my parents, and they would put one of those harness leashes around me and ski behind so I don't lose control and go careening into a tree or someone's legs. That's what these people needed. Ski instructors and leashes. The bunny hill was a war zone. You'd have to keep one eye on the uphill because at any moment there would be a glamorous Chinese woman wearing a fur coat and a lacy miniskirt heading straight towards you at full speed, screaming what I assumed to be "get the eff out of the way I can't stop," and soon she would be on ground with skis twisted in all directions, cracking up while her friends would all be laughing and cheering for her at the top of the hill.

Despite there being very little actual skiing that day, there were plenty of great moments.
Highlights included:

l Hiking up above the lifts to try out a steeper part of the hill, only to find out the snow was super wet and heavy, making turning almost impossible without losing a ski..

l Trying to explain the “big pizza” and “french fries” techniques to our Chinese friends who had never skied before

l Lots of immature phallic jokes every time we rode the ski lifts

l Free snacks at lunch cause we’re Westerners

l And last but not least.. the group photo session at the end of the days, because Chinese tourists.
(click on pictures for full size)